A friend of a friend put out a plea to her readers for their parenting advice and stories a long while back. Noting that there are lots of cheesy things we do to prepare for baby but very little we do to prepare ourselves as parents. It took me a while to think of things to inspire, or reflect on that would be helpful so I decided to go another route. Here are my 3 absurd things for new parents. All the normal stuff you should have heard by now.
1.0 – Changing crib sheets is exhausting and it gets harder the lower the mattress goes. I can’t do it without cussing. In fact tonight, I was changing Syds sheet while Royce was downstairs playing with her….he had the baby monitor and heard my mini explosion (repeat the f-world 3 times with increasing vigor) when the crib sheet I was trying to put on ripped (which was new I might add which leads me to parent advice 1.1 – Gerber crib sheets are crap). Since each time I change her sheet I have to position myself on my belly as a fulcrum with head and hands in the crib and legs stretched out in mid-air to keep balance. I’m beginning to wonder if she will ever get her crib-sheet changed when I get pregnant again (cause teetering on your belly really isn’t suggested then). She may go 9-months with the same sheet. Stay tuned.
2.0 – You will spend a stupid amount of time on the floor. I can’t remember the last time I sat on my couch. Be smart, either get plush soft carpet or nice soft rugs. Toss out any scratchy old un-padded wool rugs. They will make your butt itch.
3.0 – You will learn to do almost every task with one hand. I’ve opened a bottle of wine with one hand. I’ve gone pee in an airport bathroom with one hand. I can do anything with one hand. Try me.