Advice for new parents

A friend of a friend put out a plea to her readers for their parenting advice and stories a long while back.  Noting that there are lots of cheesy things we do to prepare for baby but very little we do to prepare ourselves as parents.  It took me a while to think of things to inspire, or reflect on that would be helpful so I decided to go another route.  Here are my 3 absurd things for new parents.  All the normal stuff you should have heard by now.

1.0 – Changing crib sheets is exhausting and it gets harder the lower the mattress goes.  I can’t do it without cussing.  In fact tonight, I was changing Syds sheet while Royce was downstairs playing with her….he had the baby monitor and heard my mini explosion (repeat the f-world 3 times with increasing vigor) when the crib sheet I was trying to put on ripped (which was new I might add which leads me to parent advice 1.1 – Gerber crib sheets are crap).  Since each time I change her sheet I have to position myself on my belly as a fulcrum with head and hands in the crib and legs stretched out in mid-air to keep balance.  I’m beginning to wonder if she will ever get her crib-sheet changed when I get pregnant again (cause teetering on your belly really isn’t suggested then).  She may go 9-months with the same sheet.  Stay tuned.

2.0 – You will spend a stupid amount of time on the floor.  I can’t remember the last time I sat on my couch.  Be smart, either get plush soft carpet or nice soft rugs. Toss out any scratchy old un-padded wool rugs.  They will make your butt itch.

3.0 – You will learn to do almost every task with one hand.  I’ve opened a bottle of wine with one hand.  I’ve gone pee in an airport bathroom with one hand.  I can do anything with one hand.  Try me.


  1. I would have to agree with all three of those! Although I must say, I’ve gotten really good at changing Jake’s crib sheets while pregnant. It’s a good thing, too — he wets so much at night these days that I end up changing his crib sheet at least 3 times a week!

  2. You are so right; I am so happy to be done with crib sheets for now. I used to take the whole stupid mattress out, put on new sheet, and toss it back in!

  3. midwestkids says:

    I’m sure I could make the task easier by taking out Syds bumpers for good. But she is such a violent sleeper that she wakes herself up by crashing her head into the crib slats. In an effort to avoid having to untie/retie the bumpers I ensue all-out war on them by trying to change the crib sheet with them intact.

    • That would make a difference. We’ve never had bumpers on Jake’s crib, so while changing the sheet is a pain, it’s not the acrobatic act that yours must be!

  4. Changing the sheets on a drop-side without taking out the whole mattress is physically impossible for me — I can’t imagine if I’d had to leave those crib bumpers in there! And you’re right, Gerber sheets suck balls. I would recommend Lambs & Ivy. We got some really cute Dinosaur sheets from them at Babies R Us, and they fit a lot better.

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