I survived my first week back to work! Not that I didn’t think I would. Maybe a few co-workers should be excited they survived my first week back, but I digress.
Going back, leaving Syd…it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I think my crap-ass, snow filled, trapped-in-the-house last few days of maternity leave had something to do with it. And to just make sure that week was perfectly ruined, I came down with a sore throat and a fever Saturday night…followed by Syd Sunday morning. Fun times I say. There is nothing like spending the last three days of my ‘vacation’ (cause I’m using annual leave by now) with an infant who is feverish, fussy, clingy & in-pain, while your husband works the night shifts at the ER. By the time Tuesday came around I was ready to get the hell out of the house and be somewhere else for 8 hours (where hopefully no one would scream at me when they got hungry or tired). Sorry Syd, but you made it rather easy for me to leave. Thank you?
Work is work. Nothing changes in 3 months. The printers are still broken, the people who couldn’t run a smooth meeting didn’t have any revelations in meeting conduct while I was gone, and I’m still expected to be 2 places at once. On my 1st day back I was asked by my boss for a list of ‘visions’ for 2020. Nothing like strategic BS to make me realize how much time we waste here in the federal government. Of course I couldn’t come up with an answer except the ones in my head which were not repeatable (I hope by 2020 you morons would have provided me with a Blackberry since I’m never at my desk, but my boss who is always at his desk has one…and in 2020 I hope there is childcare on this campus…and in 2020 I hope families get paid parenteral leave…and I sure hope this snow is gone by 2020…holy shit! in 2020 Syd will be 10 years-old and I’ll be 41! AHHHH).
I found it extremely hard to concentrate and keep focused. I sorta forgot what I did and it really took me some time to learn to focus again. People would stop me in the halls and ask me questions about stuff I had no idea about, and I had to remind myself to appear at least generally interested in hearing their thoughts (which is hard to do when your boobs hurt and you get that ‘let down’ feeling). There is definitely some cob-webs in my head that need dusted off that is for sure. I hope my colleagues are ready for a lot of blank looks because I seem to have perfected that face the past few days. I’ve also somehow completely lost the capability to multi-task at work. I remember being much more efficient than I was this week. Maybe it will come back to me. Energy-wise I did OK (although Friday night I was in bed by 9:00 pm!) which is shocking because Syd wasn’t sleeping well at the beginning of the week because of her stuffy nose and poor day-time feeding. She did much better towards the end of the week and today it seems as though she is back on her regular 9p-6a sleeping schedule.
Just so you don’t all think I’m a horrible mother, it did get harder to leave Syd towards the end of the week. Since she was feeling better by Friday my little girl was all smiles in the morning and that just melts your heart no matter how sleep deprived you are. I think she had lots of fun with Dad and Grandma while I was away. I’m so glad they were around to help out. Getting a routine is key for me and I had no idea how much time it takes each night (washing pump parts, packing lunch) just to get myself ready for the next morning.
Monday will be here before I know it. I’ve got a seemingly long list of things to do this weekend, but top on my list is to do some sewing and get a nap in!